I’ve written quite a bit about how I had felt like I was in a funk a few weeks ago. I have found that when you’re transparent about yourself, you’re able to work through things more clearly. And, since this is my internet space, and I still believe that no one reads this, it felt right to write about it. I also think it’s important to acknowledge funks- we all go through them and it’s not something to be ashamed of. To me, it’s your subconscious telling you something, and it’s you’re job to figure out what that is.
One of the ways I’ve attempted to re-center myself is to use Mantras. Each day, I receive a daily affirmation from an app on my phone. I decide if it resonates with my heart, and write it down.
However, something very interesting happened yesterday; I received two, conflicting, mantras. I heard the first one early in the morning and it sung to my heart.
How other’s treat you is a reflection of them
How you react is a reflection of you.
One of the best parts of the book “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office” ( I swear to you, this book has shifted me in ways I didn’t know needed shifted) is that is has taught me how to react to situations better. In recent weeks, I have found that because I am more aware of how poorly I tend to react, I am much better at thinking before I speak, centering my thoughts, and not reacting off the cuff. It’s such a positive reflection of who I want to be, so you could imagine how much I loved that mantra.
Later in the evening, a customer intentionally came in later at night to talk to me about something she witnessed last time she was there. One of my co-workers was disrespectful to me, and, she was disappointed in my reaction to it. She has always seen me as a strong woman, and in her eyes, in that moment, I should have been more assertive. She could be right on her observations. She is a woman I respect, admire, and aspire to be like. Not only is she wealthy, but, she has found a way to merge her creativity with her own computer software company. Listening to her talk about programming like an art form can inspire anyone. Whenever she comes in, I tend to have a piece of paper and pen handy because I always find solace in her words. Last night, she said this:
The way people treat you is a reflection of how you see yourself.
Completely conflicting to the mantra I resonated with earlier the same day. After she left I grabbed my journal (my co-workers all know when I take that out at a shift that something is tripping me) and I sat at the bar to write what she had said into it. I looked up at one of my co-workers, and read to him both mantras. Having heard most of the conversation the woman and I had, he saw just how conflicted I was. And, then he said something that made so much sense:
Well, that’s the thing about mantras, right? We have to find the one that works for us.
The thing is, both of those mantras are right. The customer is right in the sense that people shouldn’t feel like they can be disrespectful, especially in front of customers. However, this employees behavior isn’t a reflection of me, but rather, a reflection of a person trying to seem bigger than they are. It’s why I don’t react to it. Because, that’s exactly what they would want. Rather, I focus on the people who are worth it. The people who bring out the best in me because they’re the ones that I want to reflect off of.
Life isn’t always perfect. It can’t always be summed up in cute, sage packages of words. And, that’s okay. We each have to take our journey and hope that we can continue to learn and grow.
What are some mantras you live by?